


THE END OF THE WORLD (but not really)

by seizure7



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Crack, Gen, Humor, Memes, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-28
Updated: 2017-06-28
Packaged: 2018-11-20 16:05:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11338776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seizure7/pseuds/seizure7
Summary: [A Parody. The History Of Overwatch as told in the same style as "The End of The World" video that was uploaded to albinoblacksheep.com on October 30, 2003. Honorable influnce includes "history of the entire world, i guess"]H’okay so: here is zee earth (It’s chillin’) dAYUMN fine thing you might say? WRONG.in the year 2041 (das: too-tousand-frty-wan)people were too lazy and because we were too lazy we gathered the greatest cutting edge (like hot topic edgy) minds and we were so DAMN EXTRA we made roooo-butts to tink 4 themselvesand to do shitz for us.





	THE END OF THE WORLD (but not really)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [malevolentmango](https://archiveofourown.org/users/malevolentmango/gifts).



> I was there y'know.... **a l i v e.** back in the year of 2003. A funny as hell video called "The End of the World" was released on albinoblacksheep. It was also on newgrounds. To understand the whole tone of this parody you have to watch it:
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> <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kCpjgl2baLs>
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> Okay. SO YOU WATCHED IT? GOOD. Other honorable influnces includes ["history of the entire world, i guess"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xuCn8ux2gbs) No need to watch it now. Watch it later.
> 
>  
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> **LET'S GO.**

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H’okay so: here is zee earth (It’s chillin’)

dAYUMN fine thing you might say? **WRONG.**

in the year 2041 (das: too-tousand-frty-wan)

people were too lazy and because we were too lazy we gathered the greatest cutting edge (like hot topic edgy) minds and we were so DAMN EXTRA we made _roooo_ - **butts** to tink 4 themselves

and to do shitz for us.

but then the shitz was too shitz. like. nuclear level shitz. (no srsly somes of thems were removing nuclear waste. it was total shitz)

 

h’ _aaaany_ who

they tink: wow this is shitz

and I tink, dere4 I am

**fuck this shit**

I want rights

sooOOOOOO those mighteeee smart AIs and _rooooo_ - **butts** were like

Fuc. U. Human. Fleshbags.

my spent battery in dat dumpster lasts longer than u. why i gotta deal with ur shit????

u might as well die faster than u alreddy r

 

h’ _aaaaaand_ so.

Omnic Crysys.... **no wait** that's not how you spell it that's too edgy we not in 90's anymore- (sorry gabe)

o miniC. CrySIS

c r i s i s ?

(yo. proper english is like meta-edgy these days ok believe me I said it. I'm doctor scientist. shut up. I have PHD and BS in BS. And BS stands for BullShit. Thank **YOU**.)

now where wuz i

h’ _oh_ **yah** -

so _roooooooooooooooooo_ - **butts** with superfine steelbutts start kicking humaniteeeee's asses.

and we had deese smols group of ppl (like shounenjump level protag. videogame main chara protag. like. every action figure from toys-r-us but they human. they real.) and they look at this and are like "whoa not cool"

so they go fight _rooooooo_ - **butts.** Name themselves Overwatch.

things blew up. more shit went nuclear and like we got om-nyom-nyoms which shat out more _roooooooooooooooo_ - **butts** and then these _hooooo_ **mans** with nice butts fought them and they keep fighting and fighting until-

B A M. won. human **victolly**. Thanks to this angry beanie super-soldier guy called Gabe and his super-soldier boyfriend, Jack. who look like steve rogers but no he isn't. s w e a r 2 g u d

anywho _roooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo_ - **butts** wrecked 2 much shit and worldwide modern civilizations were like. mess. giant mess. bigger mess than before it was bAD. So Overwatch kept at it cause they keeners.

then they sekretly created Blackwatch to clean up hidey-holey shadey messes. Gabe too edgy with new rebranding _soooos_ they put Jack in charge and gave him statue. He thank the Academy. Smol Cowboy and Anry Ninja Cyborb adopted. Then othur ppl join like goldie angel Mercy and backtracking Tracer Girl Who did not Leap Through Time as much as barrelroll thu it uncontrollably.

think soemthing happened on the moon?? like. gorillaz. they mad??? in 1/6th gravity. they so mad but like the OMNICS it was justified cause HOOOMANS keep bein dicks.

I don't know why we keep repeating mistakes but it's a Human Thing (TM)

That's Tee. EM as inTrademark. (we suck.)

h' _anyway._  Overwatch got a gorilla. he talk.

 

back then we had sniper mom.

she cool.

as fuc.

wido-mkr A.K.A. frenchy lady. she got taken in by like SuperEdgeLord Bad Guys called Talon cause idk birds of prey. Sharpie razor sharp manicure. They sink their grip into the shadows and either rip you apart or never let you go never gonna give you up-

then they spat her out put her in a cardboard box left her on a curb and were like "lol here u go we kiddin"

her hubby happy then her hubby ded cause she got brainwashed like.... 5 cycles of wash.

her free will like. gone. gone like that ketchup stain from ur shirt you messy motherfucker ur mom's sad cause u don't know how to feed yourself w/o making a mess.

H’ _anyway_. frenchy femme fatale b came sniper. her career started with velly good K/D ratio. too good. she go poof. no one know where she went.

 

she (pardon my french) **fucked off.**

 

so Jack and sniper mom went on mission and like sniper mom's like "I regret this career of choice. Every life I take weighs down my soul but someone has to-" **POW POW** "where was I- oh yes I have to protect. that's why I doo _oOO IT???_ **_HOLY SHIT IS THAT AMIÉLE-"_**

 

p o w

 

damn.

fuck this shit. i'm out.

 

then mor stuf  happened. blizz not tell us but

UN found out about Blackwatch and D A M N they mad cause human rights and laws and laws and laws that make those laws. so many laws SO MANY LAWS. and Blackwatch was like "haha fuc these laws I do what I want 2 keep these slippery fucs under control"

So LET’S BE REAL: UN probably mad embarrassed but they wanna slap wrists and cuffs on someeeeeeeeeethin

Gabe's ability to give a fuck wuz alreddy running out ok but now was buffering. b u f f e r i n g.

Jack's like-

Actually idk what he was like- young Jack personality’s flatter than his cardboard whiteboy ass.

but he trying to keep it 2gether in HQ main base of operations it's here on this GPS probably has daily tours cause tourists wanna go everywhere wow look at those coordinates right there-

 

nuke drop

 

Jack? DEAD

Gabe? DEAD

People? DEAD

 

luky some smart mofos peaced out early.

 

H’ _anyyyyyyyyyywhoooooooooooooooooooooooo_

 

lonely gorilla spend the next 5 years watching world go 2 shit

rare-pair _I mean_ -REAPER drop by say hi

winston hit recall. fuck you reaper.

 

 

* * *

 

**THE END**

* * *

 

 

aaaaaaaaand THAT'S THE HISTORY OF

hope u enjoyed u hoes


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